How you treat your child reflects in their personality
I had an interesting interaction with a teen the other day. I was at the inauguration of an experience centre owned by a fellow BNI member where I met his teenage daughter.
She came across as very cheerful, friendly, confident and expressive. Chatting up, we instantly warmed up to each other.
When I turned to compliment the father on his vivacious daughter, he gushed: “You know, I always wanted a daughter. So much so that I had thought if we don't have girl we will adopt one.”
The youngster who was standing and overhearing the exchange looked at me: "See, this is the people to whom I was born. I am so blessed!”
This brief interaction was so heartwarming.
At a time and age when almost every other youngster shrugs, rolls their eyes or clicks their tongues at the mention of their parents or is averse to making PCs with the older generation, here was a happy teen who was open, convivial & expressive about being blessed.
While I found this interaction unique and interesting, it also set me thinking. Our children’s disposition can reveal a lot about how they’ve been treated or raised as a child. Did they grow up in a loving atmosphere where the people around were both encouraging or forgiving? Or have they been living their lives around critical people with overbearing and strict parents? Or have their parents and guardians been indifferent or overindulgent? Their entire personality can be a major giveaway of the kind of childhood a person may have had.
Yet another interesting interaction was with my cook that same day, when she informed me she would be taking an off for her son’s birthday. He was turning 24.
“I have really worked hard on him,” she said. Being a widow she said she single handedly raised him to be a responsible young man.
“I was so focussed on his progress, that when he was in Class 1, I used to burn his fingers with candle wax in order to correct his writing style,” she gloated, completely missing out the shock and consternation on my face.
I could sense she would be unable to understand my concerns because it was her own labour and effort in raising her child that she was focussed on.
Yes, in our over enthusiasm to get our children to deliver we sometimes tend to perpetuate these kinds of atrocities on our children. Since we think it is for the betterment of our children, we do not even consider the damaging side effects of our actions as long as the immediate result, one we desired, happens. Like in this case, her 6-year-old son may have started writing neatly but got scarred for life on the inside.
My sincere advice to all adults wanting to raise happy and emotionally strong children is to keep asking yourself: Am I damaging my child’s inside world or strengthening it?
Move from Scolding your child to moulding a leader!